Confront the dark parts of yourself, and work to banish them with illumination and forgiveness.
Your willingness to wrestle with your demons will cause your angels to sing
---August Wilson
Dear Aihia Kashieka,
The last few years of your life was a terrible mess.
Life was devoid of meaning, the incessant whining of liars and gossips filled the cobwebs of your mind. Fear mashed up with loss turned you’re misery into epiphany. And you wrote it all down in a notebook.
A nondescript notebook that weighed more than any piece of jewelry. I wager that you’re sober now, and a little more closed off than usual but you’re not pushing people out again are you? Well if it’s the latter then it takes more than time to heal and reseal old wounds.
Sometimes you have to gash open your heart, so a sludge of tears can pour out into the drain, and cleanse you from the anxieties.
Have you met with change as well? You better learn to listen to her and befriend her for your safety. She does her job very well.
Change doesn’t take well with people who constantly believe they’re different and unique, and also to people who changes their clothes too often. Change comes in, and like a plague destroys everything in its path. Leaving a clean slate for hope to bloom once again.
Life is a constant wheel turning.
You must learn how to be calm in the face of reality. I know you’re doing well adjusting to that phase. I know you’re restless mercurial nature may have done more harm in your youth.
But if you hadn’t listened to your heart and feelings then what would have following an ordered and structured path given you in the end?
Listen carefully dear. You’re you. No matter how old or young, you are you. You’ll still be you in the future and in the past. Never doubt yourself and always learn to breath.
Maybe by next year you’ll finally find the answer to what you’ve been asking for, and the universe is kind enough to be cruel to you, so you can learn to depend on others for once.
It may get to you but you’re mistrustful nature is still there. You haven’t fully grasped how the darkness in your heart can seep out, and crush people with your sword.
Yes, you’ve always been a person who yielded her sword wisely, but you’ve always wanted to throw it down because you’ve yearned to love and be love, right?
Love hasn’t been too kind either. But I am happy to know that you’re finally embracing the darkness, and learning to use that to your advantage.
It’s a safe choice if you want to live and become a free woman. It’s dangerous if you’re not well-versed in the language of man and accepting in the darkness inside your heart.
I feel that you know where you’re going with life though you’re not quite sure where it’s headed.
Hopefully it won’t end easily. Your life and will eventually lead you to the right place in the right time.
Ciao.
With love from the past and beyond,
Aihia Kashieka
Photo: Google images
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